I'm completely amazed how anyone could be so selfish!!! ... so self-centred!!! Looking out for themselves before others, even to the extent of wishing for what is not rightfully there's! Being so holy on the outside but so full of deceit and selfish attitudes on the inside!!
... that person is me
As soon as I take my eyes off of Christ, my focus immediately turns to myself. Just a glimpse of the glory of God's face is enough to last me a life time, yet I turn at an instance I see something I like.
I utter things to God, such as "all things fade away when I'm with You", but I'm just like a prostitute who whispers sweet nothings to get what she wants.
The problem with me is my focus, I should have eyes for only one. My eyes should be set on Christ, but for a person as selfish as me this seems to be an unfavorable thing. It means sacrifice, it means giving up things that please me.
The very selfishness of my nature is hindering from me being less selfish.
The very thing I don't want to be is what I am. This condition seems to be worse than I thought. It causes more harm to others than I thought, It robs me of what God has for me more than I thought it could.
SELFISHNESS ... you and I are going to have to part ways, I'm sorry I once thought that we could be friends, but I now know that this is a destructive relationship. You are in fact a parasite causing harm to all that come into your reach.
You are a sword that destroys everything around me when in my grip.
I thought that I could control you, but all along it was you who was controlling me.
I had literally become you. No longer will I be entrapped in this deadly cycle of serving you, I will give up the the illusion of life and happiness, to have the Real Thing.
Thankyou God for showing me the light, and giving me a way out
3 comments:
Hey Thomas, Thanks for being so honest! I too have been struggling with similar things. Still being refined in the fire, you could say! I know that Jesus is the only way, yet wanting my own selfish needs met. You've reminded me once again how precious my Jesus is. Thankyou, from a very blessed Mum :)
Profound, yet very true statement about selfishness...While shopping yesterday, I felt myself drawn to acquiring "things" for myself, using means to look better, smell better, act better and even think better. "The very thing I don't want to be is what I am..." sounds exactly the very line found in Romans 7 (verses 14-25). Thanks for your honesty...it's good to know that there are others out there struggling through similar thoughts ;)
I know your struggle Tom. I find that my identity as "Christ's Brother" is at war with my identity as "Selfish"
This is the sin that empowers all the others, and the root of all that prevents me from growing freely towards health in my relationship with God.
I feel that when this is beat, i'll be almost in heaven...Sometimes that encourages me, and sometimes it gets me down.
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