out of control

I hear the brakes screaming, I feel the car swerving ... I wake up and instantly I feel my world spinning, it appears as if I'm about to crash, *how stupid I am to have fallen asleep while driving* ... I'm panicking ... I'm helpless ... everything is out of my control and all hope of getting through this time seems to have gone!

then I take another moment to process whats really going on, its not that bad. Its not scary anymore ... the reason being I realize I'm not even the one driving the car, I'm the passenger and the person who made the car is driving. They know the car inside out. Even better than that this driver is also the same person who paved the roads we're driving on.

Why was I scared?

helpless, but not hopeless

I feel so utterly helpless right now, there are way too many things out of my control ... weddings / lack of finances / lack of time / lack of understanding / too many trips to pay for / too many things to organise / too many unknowns.

If I do the maths, it leaves me with negative time, negative money, so it doesn't look like it should work out... and I know I cant make it work... but there's a power greater than mine at work.

God I'm helpless, but thankyou for not leaving me hopeless.

I've had questions, without answers
I've known sorrow, i have known pain
but theres one thing, that i'll cling to
you are faithful, Jesus your true

when hope is lost, i'll call you saviour
when pain surrounds, i'll call you healer
when silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart

lyrics by Tim Hughes

livejournal

Revelation:

Its amazing what you can achieve for God, if you don't care who gets the credit

Prayer:

God all that is good in my life it comes from you, I have nothing to boast in but you. May all know how great you are! Let your strength, beauty, and love shine through my weaknesses.

Soundtrack: Oceans Above - Love break me

Love, break me now
Strip me down
May Your beauty
Deep inside of me resound
Through me be found
Come break me now
Guide me in Your truth
Mold me in your nature
Birth in me a hope
To hold on
Show me how to wait
Teach me how to listen
Be in me the strength

Calendar

The next month is a busy but exciting one

Aug 28 - to Bangkok
Aug 31 - see my darling
Sept 1 - to Chiang Mai
Sept 4 - to Chiang Rai
Sept 8 - brothers wedding
Sept 10 - to Korat
Sept 13 - engagement ceremony
Sept 24 - to Singapore (with Tuu)
Sept 25 - to Oz for a couple months

Unfortunately we only have 20 hours in Sing this time around, but I still want to catch up with as many people as possible, maybe stay up all night drinking kopi and chatting =)

One at a time:

ONE of the MANY
Photo by Kati*

We have a directive from God... a command from Jesus to go out into ALL the world. When you look at that in the light of the current state of the world it can be pretty disheartening, in fact the sheer enormity of the task almost makes you want to give up before you've begun. Its hit me before, even just thinking of Thailand itself I wonder what on earth I can do. Its a mission field, which traditionally has been very hard to see any visible fruits to one's efforts.... Its disheartening sure, but after being encouraged by God its even more exciting! to see God break through! After the past year God has AGAIN dramatically changed my ideas of missions, and even my priorities. It also seems he is continually refining my vision, giving more details as I walk along this path.

I'm convinced that even if I saw just one person come to know God's love during the time I spend in Thailand, even if its a lifetime, it would be all worth it. Jesus came to change the whole world!! but how did he do that? He didn't become a TV evangelist, He decided to impact this world firstly by reaching individuals, by meeting people. In one of my favourite books called "Authentic Relationships" the authors note that we dont have to love everyone! meaning that we aren't called to love, serve, admonish, or share with everyone. Its something we can do for one another, and it works when apllied to one individual at a time. Jesus wants us to demonstrate love freely in the moment with the people we're with.

Ever since meeting Tuu's parents, I've had a desire to spend some time with them. Even live close to them. I see more clearly now the reason God placed that desire on my heart was because God wants us to be able to serve them, to share with them, and to love them. When I think about the possible obstacles in the way it seems like a tough ask. But its not impossible, and I already see glimpses of what will happen when Tuu and I serve in whatever way God asks of us. I know that the impact will be far-reaching, far further than simply the four walls of Tuu's house. The timeframe is unkown to us, the methodology is unkown us, the difficulties and obstacles are yet to appear fully, but at the moment I'm happily ignorant just having to trust in God. If I knew the details I honestly doubt I pursue this crazy idea that we can make a difference in Tuu's house, in her village, in her district, in province of KORAT, and in her the country of Thailand.

I dont believe this is an ambitious hope, its heaven's reality that is just yet to be realized here on earth. Mat 6:10 "May your Kingdom come soon.
May your will be done here on earth,
just as it is in heaven". We are ALL part of that reality, dont be discouraged by the tasks at hand, dont focus on just what appears to be, but rather on what can be. Place your faith in a God who intends to CHANGE the world, and who intends to us to spark flames wherever we may be.

There is a familiar story of an old scientist lamenting over a large group of starfish that had beached themselves on the shore at high tide. Shocked by the immense need, he stood paralyzed on the beach until he noticed a little boy grabbing starfish and throwing them back into the ocean. Spying on the old man, the boy rushed over and pleaded "Mister, you have to help me, we've got to get these starfish back into the ocean before they die." The boy went over to pick up another one and tossed it back into the waves. "Do you see how many of them there are out here?" the scientist asked scanning the shoreline. "What difference can we make?" The little boy looked down at the starfish in his hand, thought a moment, and finally said, it makes a difference to this one" Then he threw it into the ocean and reached down for another.

Perth Kangaroos

Our takraw team is coming along, we will will be going to Burma and Thailand at the end of year. We hope to be able to do as much as we can while we are there. As far as we can tell no western team is gone to do what we will be doing. Learning their game so we can go and share God's love.

Click the pic to see our team myspace